scanning the floor for leftover appendages.
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| Spooky Stole My Noodle scanning the floor for leftover appendages. |
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Friday, April 11, 2003 === Message from Tony Blair, Prime Minister: === Fellow citizens of the Democratic Western Alliance, As you will already have seen on national television, in newspapers and on radio broadcasts; the war in Iraq is already effectively over, and the brutal regime that has dominated the region for over thirty years is finally in ruin. This has not been a popular conflict, and I more than anyone am aware of that. But as we watch the live reportage and see the images coming in to us from the very heart of cities such as Bagdad, Tikrik and others, it should now be plainly obvious to all but the most militant liberals amongst us why we had to take the course of action that we did in Iraq. Since the regime has crumbled, the Iraqi people, so long oppressed and brutalised, have taken to the streets to reclaim what is rightfully theirs. I myself have watched footage, and have marvelled at the energy and the determination of these people as they emerge from thirty years of torture and oppression into the first light of freedom and democracy. I have seen men entering a former Iraqi hotel complex and emerging moments later with the bottom half of a ceramic leopard, an ashtray and a dimming light switch. Another film shows a young Iraqi teenager with his elderly grandfather climbing out of some rubble and triumphantly carrying a window shade, singing victory songs and brandishing the top of a hat stand. Both are laughing and waving for the first time in literally thirty years or more. I have seen a whole family, regretably made homeless by the Iraqi bombs of mass destruction, working together to load a whitewashed tractor tyre into their rusty pick-up truck, then seconds later entering the lobby of a former Iraqi car rental outlet to claim a large white plastic reception desk vase with its two remaining tulips. This sort of thing is all the evidence we need to satisfy ourselves that we are giving something back to the people of Iraq. I have heard accounts of a young iraqi girl in the South, no more than six years old, rendered an orphan, wandering the streets of her village in rags for literally days. A  I have seen a man in a Jelaba rubbing his genitals up a public mural of Saddam Hussein in Basra. He had a dartboard in one hand and what looked to be a potato masher in the other. This was not possible before yesterday's liberation. Before this, the man would have lived in a small and basic hut, and would not have been allowed a dart board and potato masher. Now, he has a dartboard and a potato masher, and you can clearly see how delighted he is by this. In time he will find a new hut to dwell in, and once settled, he can play with his dartboard, and mash some potatoes, and rub his genitals up a mural of his own. A young boy in hospital nearby recently had his arms blown off by Iraqi bombs of mass destruction, but thanks to the Alliance and its fast, effective and deadly accurate campaign, that young boy's father now has a wheel barrow full of buckled chair legs. What we have acheived therefore is nothing short of giving back some stuff to the people of iraq. Shoe polishing machines. Cushions. The foot-rest off a sunlounger. A wonky car door, the list is almost endless. But more than all of this, we have sent a message to the world, a message that can be summed up as I quote Captain Bush speaking earlier today: "War is not always pleasant, but it is sometimes necessary, and afterwards you can get loads of stuff for free if you're quick on your toes". Thank you for your continuing, unwavering support over the last weeks and months leading up to this unmissable discount mayhem. Tony Blair Prime Minister posted by Spooky | 10:05 AM |
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