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Because "PHP" sounds like, "ffffp" to me.

I didn't know I had access to PHP on this webhost. I didn't know because I didn't care because I'd never taken the time to think about whether or not it was something I should figure out. Recent events have given me a need to test the waters of ffffp, though, and I like. I'm not your average tech geek. I'm the kind of tech geek who's only a tech geek to people who don't know other tech geeks. I don't play with this stuff that much.

At any rate I had to block image hot-linking. There are a few web boards which recently started tearing up my bandwidth by hot-linking images. I wouldn't've minded except that in two days the two boards were each in my top five monthly bandwidth users. So I asked them to stop, which went amazingly well, because people fucking rock. (It has nothing at all to do with any apparent recent desire of mine to get into the middle of, or start, flame wars. Really. Nothing is my fault.) At any rate, ffffp provided a good solution; now you can link to my images if you actually link to them; you can't use them inline. (I got much useful information at A List Apart.)

Having done that (and also, incidentally, having gotten myself banned from one of the offending bulletin boards because I made a few remarks about how no sysop-type person did anything about my original band-width overload messages yet surprisingly the sysop private-message fuckers happened to pop up when I used the word "dipshit" in a post. Because they don't want to offend any childrens. Childrens who wouldn't otherwise be offended by the availability of emoticons doing things like shaking their naked breasts,) I decided to play around with parsing my weblog file. So now, as you may or may not have noticed, my "editor.htm" gets redirected to "editor.php", which basically right now just parses the htm file and removes all but the first 10 entries. This way there shouldn't be such long load times anymore. Also, if you're bored, you can go up into the address bar and tack on a "?count=x" after the URL, where x is some positive integer, and you'll then see x number of entries. Although you'll only see as many as are in the actual htm file; it won't go back and grab 'em from the archives if you try to see a whole boatload of 'em.

So now I'm thinking of creating some ffffp stuff to let me update this thing online. And wouldn't THAT be a grand waste of time; redeveloping my weblog thing in ffffp instead of just getting one of the other clients that are available.

Here is a pretty good ffffp manual. Here is a Comprehensive Guide to .htaccess. Here is Blorch.net, which is, you know, Blorch.net.