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11.14.2004

Valley of the Shadow

It's not been easy, this task to which I set myself. There've been days when I've felt that it would be psychically impossible for me to post anything at all. There've been times when I've been so tempted to give it up that the towel's already been flying into the ring before, at the last second, my other, non-throwing hand reached out and grabbed it, snatching it back and so snatching back also, in the process, what few fragile strands of self-respect and honour I had left. At one point I nearly hurled myself into the masses of cars on Interstate 270 during rush hour. The only thing that stopped me then was the fact that no vehicles on 270 during rush hour travel any faster than three miles per hour, and a bump on the knee would not have ended my suffering. There have been all of those things but I have prevailed.

I'm not too humble to admit that I've become a martyr, a still-suffering symbol for all of the would-be ex-bloggers out there who have considered hanging it up. My decision not quite a month ago to post every day for a month has forced me unwittingly into that spotlight, that terrible, blinding eye of public scrutiny, that always unwelcome pedestal of iconoclast and role-modelship. I have, through no small measure of selfless dedication, allowed myself to bear this mantel with dignity, always knowing the good I was doing for the children of America; even for the children of humanity.

As I begin the final week of this period, able at last to feel confident that I will be able to make it through, I look back on the past three soul-searching, gut-wrenching, heart-pound, cliff-hanging weeks and I allow myself to smile with pride. It is I who, through divine providence and self-sacrifice, have alone saved the institution of weblogging for the ages. Though I know that I shall not be congratulated, or even thanked, for this thing I have done I can be content in just knowing that I have found the strength to offer this gift to the world.

It's also a good time for me to ask an important question: what now? Now that I have nearly laid to rest the myth that weblogging cannot be performed daily for an entire month, with exceptions being few and then more than made up for with multiple posts immediately following the missed entry, what should I next cast my substantial strength of will upon?

When asked so plainly, of course, the answer is obvious. It only takes but a small fraction of my super-human creativity to imagine the next step. It will be a greater challenge, but I have faith in my ability. With the confidence of this past almost-month already behind me I feel confident that I am fully equipped to handle it.

I will prove, once and for all, that one can, given the correct attitude, fortitude, vicissitude, verisimilitude, and gumption, eat just one chip.

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