03.05.2004
fracture
my usual fractured, fragment
sentiment flavored hardtack undecided
decided though to get back here and ALL
that would come out of it is this.
so speak to me my beautiful machine
speak and spin and it's humid hot in here already
around here the spring or fall seems to last a week
or maybe it's my perception. Spent twenty bucks in a CVS because I had a coupon for three dollars off a purchase of fifteen or more. I needed the toothpaste and the toiletpaper; I probably didn't need the two two-packs of pilot pens (but they were buy one get one for a cent! Savings stacked on top of savings it's like I'm rich.)
You ought to see this place, this stacked up place, I'm practically buried. In the middle here of moving or not moving, still waiting for the loan to come through the settlement and what the hell am I going to do with all this stuff? Can barely reach the doubleglassdoors to slide one away to let in some breeze, the blanket and shower curtain used as a curtain won't stay out of the way just keep sliding back to stop the air like a bag over my head. Feel the collar around the back of my neck.
stress stacks up
like this collection of everything I've ever
seen heard kicked or tripped over
the stress on the top just waiting
for that jiggle on the stress on the bottom
so it can all slide everywhichway
me underneath
Going to nail that dollar store showercurtain to the fucking wall. We're buying a house and I'm wondering how this hangs-showercurtains-over-windows apartmentperson can metamorphose into a conscientious-of-keeping-up-the-home-value homeperson. You wouldn't believe the dust blowing around in here with this wind. Or some of you would, some of you know exactly. I'm looking up now and it's like it's snowing. Really. Snowing gray dust across the room, in my hair. Wherever it's coming from is somewhere I can't reach without standing on top of a pile of I don't know what.
slap slap that plastic sheet
the wind out there
with that cliche wind sound
You know what I hate about politics? I hate teamsport mentalities. How often it feels like one side's just calling the other side evil, usagainstthem. Someone on what you consider the other team does something you don't like and you generalize that action to encompass all of "them." Those liberals those conservatives those lefties and righties and democrats and republicans and
I remember when I used to be able to focus a thought onto this thing. Now I've got this machine gun, one-handed, and the trigger's stuck down. I'll shoot myself in the shin, I'll put out an eye; might shoot a hole through some of this junk and be able to get the fuck out of this room.
(Though really I just sat down, just got in here. I can get out anytime I want, too. But speaking of Politics, anyone got a bumpersticker yardsign that says "Anyone But Bush/Cheney 2004"? That guy's on the other team.)
